All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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