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this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
