I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
