he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
