so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
