Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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