Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
