i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
