Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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