Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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