if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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