"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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