Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want to be your penis for a week.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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