i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
