god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just threw up on my dentist
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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