We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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