Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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