I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
