Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
