He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
