Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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