6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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