I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
