When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the day after is always just damage control
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So here I am, sexting at work.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
