ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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