also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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