This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
