I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
well you can't waste a boner
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
