I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
