please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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