I just saw a hot homeless man
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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