Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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