I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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