Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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