just come out here and I will go home with you...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
