I have demons in me.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
