I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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