Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize