So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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