and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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