Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
