im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
