Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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