i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
