he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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