Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
