The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
