EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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