im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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