I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
