Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize