Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
