Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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