Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
