He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
