People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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