i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
