After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize