These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
